I am asked often about my relationship with Derrek. Our relationship means so much to me, it’s really fun to talk about. I am not saying that we have a perfect relationship by any means but we love each other more than anything. I think that’s why it is so perfect to us. Derrek and I have been together for seven years but it still feels just like we’re dating. How on Earth do we make this possible with four kids involved? Simple. Dating.
I work really hard to respect my husband and part of that includes making time for just him. I have to be mindful that our relationship needs it’s own space away from the kids to flourish. We have yet to go on a vacation together away from the kids (stay tuned… Summer 2019!) but we do make plans once or twice a week to go and do something together. This normally includes a day date to get pedicures, lunch, a movie, or dinner and drinks. We rarely got any time away from the kids when we lived in Lake View and it was honestly really hard! I felt so burned out at the end of the day that it made me resentful that we couldn’t go and have just our time together. Now that we’ve moved we have made this a priority and I SWEAR, our relationship has evolved so much because of it.
If you want a good relationship, you’ve got to make time for each other. You also have to make your conversations count. Don’t be a negative Nancy all the time, really invest in each other. That’s why I always refer to our relationship as dating because I treat it exactly that way. Now, that doesn’t mean that I don’t randomly flip out about the kids spilling apple sauce on my new rug or the laundry getting backed up. It just means that I am more conscious about my conversations with him and I always ask him questions about what he has going on (even if it’s about fantasy football which I could care less about) and I make sure to let him know how much I care about him.
Each relationship is very different so I honestly think that my advice isn’t a one size fits all type of thing. Take the time to really take a minute and think about what you and your partner love and focus on that. Spending quality time together will always do you good.
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