Grace upon grace

ring sling by Wildbird

2017 represents a new beginning to me. I plan on working a lot this year and by that I mean on myself. I want to start focusing on what amazing doors that are being opened in my life verses the ones that are being closed. One of the reasons why I love the following that I have on social media is because of how sweet and kind y’all are. It makes my heart so full and happy when I chat with you one on one about things and how I am not alone in my feelings when I share something on my social media. Some of you show more kindness than the physical family members in my life. It’s a large burden that sits heavily on my shoulders when I think about it. This has almost suffocated me and I am choosing to let it all go this year. Just because someone is your blood or even by way of marriage doesn’t mean that they are going to show you love and respect. Someone that you met five minutes ago could care more about you than someone you’ve known your entire life!

There’s a lot going on with a specific family member of mine and it feels like I pour my heart in soul into them over and over again and get absolutely nothing in return. They could care less about me and my Little’s and it’s heartbreaking. After having this happen countless times, I’m stopping the cycle and not letting it take over my heart anymore. I am not investing in people that don’t have my best intentions at heart. No matter how much you try, you cannot make someone love you. As much as you try and try, it’s like trying to fill up a cup that has a hole in the bottom. It’s impossible and draining. The change that I am choosing to make is to know and understand my worth. I am to valuable to chase someone that doesn’t know my worth and to wait on them to acknowledge my value. I am also choosing not to let someone else’s behavior change my heart.

I have standards and the people in my life can either choose to step up or step out. It’s draining to have to constantly deal with other people’s drama when in the end they aren’t contributing to YOUR greater good. This all doesn’t mean that I’m going to turn into a stone cold witch, it just means that I’m not throwing my heart out on the line any longer. By giving myself grace, I understand that all of these instances serve a purpose in my life verses housing shame over the situation. I forgive and move forward. By knowing that grace will always be greater than the hardship, my heart can heal. Strength and peace of mind can lead me to places higher than I was when I let it overwhelm me. So, I am thankful for the difficulties that I go through, each and every single thing has taught me a lesson and helped make me into a stronger person. I am excited about experiencing spiritual growth and what this new year will bring into my life. The most amazing thing that always remains constant is my life with my Little’s and husband. My quest for greater understanding and happiness is all for them.