Earlier, my mind started drifting back to a date, an actual MOVIE date, that I had with my husband last weekend. This was the first time either of us had been to the movies in the past three years, y’all! I understand some parents go out on dates when their children are days old, some after a few weeks or months…. people differ in when they are comfortable being away from their babies. Before I had kids, I had all of these ideas in my head of what type of parent I wanted to be. After having them, my mindset has completely changed.
I am so thankful that my husband and I share the same beliefs and desires for raising our kids. We chose an attachment lifestyle, being around our children pretty much all of the time. People often ask me how we are so happy, being together all of the time and being around the children all of the time. It isn’t always easy, but we choose to see the good in every situation. If I let my mind feel like we were missing out by not going on more actual dates away from our children, I am sure I would be super unhappy and so would my husband. Keeping a connection between the two people that started the relationship is the most important part of its foundation. This is our vision of our life, intertwined with our kids. They grow up so fast, and one day all too soon, they won’t need us like they do now, so right now, we embrace it.
In order to keep ourselves happy during this period of togetherness, we make time for dates when we can. Our dates happen some mornings when we wake up before they do and Derrek makes his coffee and I read him passages out of the Bible or we talk about what our day will consist of. (FYI: Coffee breath is the best breath to kiss!) Our dates happen at nap time when we play a quick game of Phase 10 (quick as in just until the kids wake up) or we write down our goals for the next five years. Our dates happen after we get the kids to bed, and I pop popcorn for us to eat while we snuggle and catch up on all of the shows we DVRed.
Trust me, there have been times over the past few years we have both been frustrated that our children would cry when we tried to leave them with a babysitter or when we did not have the option for a babysitter. People do not realize that unless you have a super connected family that lives close by, you do not get babysitters so easily. We have chosen to change our minds and not get frustrated that we do not have several nights or even one night a week that we actually leave our house and go to dinner alone or to the movies. Instead, we take time to give thanks for the blessings Nolan and Harper are in our lives and understand their needs for us.
My suggestion to any parent that is struggling with alone time with their significant other is to think outside the box of what alone time is “supposed to be” and enjoy what it is! Think of all the stolen moments you can have with your significant other that never require leaving your home! You can make yourself happy until you actually get that movie date after waiting for three years. I am so excited to have shared that experience with my hubby, and I look forward to more actual dates in the future. Until then, I am perfectly content with YouTube yoga with my extra flexible man tonight for our date night.