hayyyyy ya’ll! I hope you’re having a wonderful week. The weather is warming up – SLIGHTLY anyways, and this Southern girl appreciates it SO much. I am unbelievely ready for Spring I can taste it! Who else is with me? I labeled this blog as “Real Housewives” because I LOVE this outfit, it makes me feel like I need my own TV show AND because of something else that has recently occurred.
On a serious note, I was nervous to share but it’s important so I am going too. When I was younger, I was bullied. It happened numerous times over the course of my childhood and even into high school and it was something I was ashamed about. My mother brought this issue to light one day when she found a note that someone had written me calling me a lesbian. Yea… that was intense. When I was little it was that my hair bows were to big then it escalated over the years. The girls that did this to me had been in my class since we were in kindergarten and we even graduated together so there was no getting away from the drama. It’s a really sensitive subject for me and strikes a nerve anytime I feel like someone is a “mean girl.”
Unfortunately, I allowed my circle to increase A LOT and really wasn’t paying attention to who had gotten “close” to me. This resulted in A LOT of unnecessary drama, cattiness, disrespect and even questioning how I let this happen. I couldn’t understand why my “friends” became so hateful and unkind until I realized… it’s not me and they were never my friends. I allowed toxic people into my space and I needed to remove them just as quickly as I let them in. The feeling is almost like I was a cast member on one of the Real Housewives shows and show producers pushing the drama.
This time became easy to see in a few ways. I heard about unkind things being said about me by my “friends,” I heard word for word conversations that I had shared in confidence from third parties who should have never known about it, I realized that only time a certain friend would reach out to me is if she needed money and was never caring enough to ask about me, and I was disgusted by hearing about these said friends actions to other people in our community.
I do not want to be associated with mean girls… in any caliber, whatsoever! Ya’ll… it really messed me up. I felt like I had invested so much into my “friends” and realizing the empty truth that they used and abused me ROCKED MY WORD. I was upset with myself for being involved with them in the first place but then even more upset at the fact that I allowed this negativity into my space. It seriously started to effect so many other aspects of my life. My husband and I started arguing because I would share some of it with him, I felt sick to my stomach 24/7 and lost my appetite, I would focus on what had gone on verses WORK and my business took a toll. To be quite honest, it still stings and I am still getting over it.
I wish that I had a button that I could press and reset that time in my life that I spent on those said friends but I can’t. All that I can do is use it as a lesson learned and move forward. Who do I want in my life? Who do I want as roll models for my girls? I want people who are kind, compassionate and caring. Not catty, drama filled and stuck up. Who I involve myself with, in turn will change me as a person so setting boundaries is crucial at leading a positive life. Does this make me quick to cut people out of my life? YES. And I honestly have no apologizes for that at this time. Growing up being bullied was the most difficult thing I experienced and I refuse to repeat the pattern over and over just to have “friends.”
So, what steps am I taking to detox my life? I got rid of people who lie to me, disrespects me, uses me and puts me down.
I’m still trying to heal my heart from going through it all and I am still a little bitter but I refuse to throw tables or cut someone down just to make myself feel better. I am BETTER than that and I will focus on being better every day. If you have dealt with bulling or are going through it now, please know that you have to show yourself love and make boundaries or YOU will fall. I know that it’s tough but if you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else will. You are strong and you have to believe that!